Sinta’s Creeping Engenderment
I think it is Nietzsche who says we are all prisoners of our culture. My daughter is three and a half and I begin to see this more and more now.
I wanted to raise her in a gender-neutral way, not necessarily making her wear pink and play with dolls or kitchen sets. But it’s so hard to swim against the tide.
The difficulty became apparent early on when relatives were giving my daughter pink dresses.
Then my wife decided some time back that it was time for my daughter to go through the princess stories: Cinderella, Snow White, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, etc. My child is enamored with Cinderella (although she identifies herself more readily with Gus, the mouse with a big tummy). Sometimes she picks up a broom, sweeps the floor and starts singing "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes". She has a princess and a prince doll and she’d make them dance to the tune of "So This is Love". Yesterday she was making her two other dolls, both females, dance to "So This is Love". At least she is still free that way.
On a different note, I think it is stories like Cinderella that make us believe in love at first sight. Imagine, the Prince and Cinderella see each other for the first time and instantly Cinderella sings, "So This is Love". Poor children don’t know that the filmmakers just had to cut the scene short so that the movie wouldn’t be too long. (Imagine a child growing up thinking THAT is love).
I was asking my wife if there is a story with a girl who is not princessy and she was saying Pocahontas because Pocahontas does not go with John Smith in the end (Didn’t she?) But then, that doesn’t break the stereotype enough for me.
Then this Christmas, two relatives gave my child dress up dolls including a Barbie.
I’m not exactly ranting at society. I am extremely grateful to those who love my child and give her gifts. All I’m saying is that I’m seeing my daughter become gendered before my very eyes.
I’m also beginning to wonder how we all were gendered ourselves. Who were the icons of manhood and femininity during our times? What were the toys we played? What were the clothes we were made to wear?
January 3rd, 2007 at 7:41 pm
Kap - serious point on Cinderella, poor kids thinking THAT is love nga. Hear it straight from a victim hehe just kidding. I grew up playing with dolls and toy cars - I grew up more boyish that girly. I dont know if that will help. Happy New year! (ps - Pocahontas ended up with John Rolfe)
January 3rd, 2007 at 7:42 pm
Er, typo: I meant I grew up more boying THAN girly.
And I never really thought it was wrong
January 14th, 2007 at 8:10 am
sir, i think one disney movie that is not so “princessy” is mulan. first of all she is chinese, a break from caucasians. also, she doesnt sweep floors, stay in a tower waiting for her prince to come, she goes out and fights in a war for his dad. although, at the end she did end up with the cutest guy in the animation (i forgot his name). good thing is that they didnt fall in love the moment they saw each other (cause i think that is just crazy).
Moreoever, Mulan 2 contradicts the notion that love is easy. in the sequel they learn that they are too different from each other and they need to work out this difference before they get married. so anyway, i think mulan is not so “disney” and “princessy”.